In utero

Could it be that people have this preconceived longing to return to the womb? A place and time of absolute ethereal warmth and comfort where not a thing can go wrong, of which can never be had again. Though we search, nothing quite makes the mark. And in what peculiar paths. The first that comes to mind is with the help of drugs, which unfortunately comes at a price. The search for power is a way to protect oneself by controlling their surroundings, but at a greater exposure to risk and responsibility. Then comes the relationship between the sexes, where in some Freudian way, two people can feel a sense of comfort and contentedness unmatched by any other emotion. Perhaps a prenatal baby does feel this or something of the like. So do we sleep in the fetus position by our partners, dreaming of the best times of our lives both past and to come.

Dentists in the media

-Murakami's short stories often depict a dentist character. He has a knack for making the ordinary extraordinary. One is a dentist, whose wife is an unafflicted insomniac that swims furiously at the club and reads thick novels over a glass of liquor, comes home during lunch somedays, and brushes his teeth immediately afterwards.
-Colgate commercials
-Willy Wonka's(whoops) father was a dentist
-The Simpson's episode where Lisa gets braces
-Seinfeld, the dad from Malcolm in the Middle plays a dentist who keeps pornography in his waiting room.
In short, dentists don't get much exposure. That is why the profession is such a well kept secret.

love b.c.

Imagine how love worked in ancient times, when history was rarely written. Did two people go through the same promenade that we are so familiar with in this day and age?

History often portrays marriage as a loveless affair between two estates with a dynastic approach to creating a family tree. This is due to a flawed system of history. Only events that occur in relation to important figures is recorded in a manner that has any possibility of being preserved. The rest of our ancestor's stories fade into obscurity. Actually, it's quite romantic thinking about all the notable and quips that have ever occurred, spanning the entire spectrum of human events. But not until the Renaissance has the popularity of love emerged in media with the likes of Lord Byron and Shakespeare, Titian, and Botticelli. Before this, love was overtaken by the emotion of lust, which was scarce in itself.

Though there are few tangible artifacts that can prove this, it is in our DNA. By the way we act and feel towards each other. This is an ancient dance.

The Perfect Morning

I woke up this morning, and my bed was perfectly made.

Staying happy

- listening to music in bed before sleeping
- when it's sunny + rainy
- staying clean and fresh

:a man's dignity is all he has, and most women know this:

The small Indian man in all of us

L'hotel Dauphin - Japan branch

pulpy orange paper

10.22.08

Today was the first day I've felt relaxed in awhile, not that I've been particularly busy. Just that I felt ok. I've been in a sort of existential cocoon. Predicting what's to come has so overwhelmed me with an anxiety about who I am and what I am capable of. All the stress amounted to nothing. Didn't accomplish anything. Actually, it was more a path to self-destruction, which I know, through experience, becomes a vicious cycle. What I've realized is that I really don't have a clue.

Hold on

Few things are constant, particularly when it comes to people. You may find yourself doubting that a person you know is the same person as before. Not just because they've changed, but as if that person in the past whom you have shared memories with no longer exists here and now, even though you may see them, even though you may talk to them. I personally hate how this happens, which may be why I try to hold on to the past so much. Yet why it is so easy to forget? Perhaps, answering my own question, the knowledge is no longer applicable, if the past is no longer a truth.

I spend the greater part of everyday dreaming about my past, things that people have said, places I've gone. Even so, if this is unnatural, sometimes I probe more repressed memories, some that I must have stowed away in the attic, never expecting to dig them up again. How different was I back then? Some parts I can't even believe were me.

Public exercise exhibition

Jogging outfits may seem useless at first glance, but have many social undertones. You see, if someone is dressed in ill-fitting, poorly patterned and colored clothes they wouldn't normally wear, then they are exercising. It is an announcement that they indeed may have a car or more efficient mode of transportation, and they are so well off, they have the time to run around idly in ridiculous outfits. You see, without the outfits, they would be marked as being a "derelict" who actually has to run to get where they are going like our ancestors did.
These guys are even worse. Sure, baggy clothes get stuck in the gears, but at least you will look cooler than this plump potato of a human being. If you aren't competing for a bicycle race, please wear normal clothes. PLEASE.

Nostalgia, careers, and third world countries in no particular order

Nostalgia if an emotion that we can do without. The silent moment of reflection that sums up the prospect of all that could have been. When we were young, the possibilities were there for the conquering, but with each passing year, we lose sight of our goals. Is it that we were lazy children? Or is it the dimming churn of societal expectations. In any case, bitching and moaning take place in every group. The rich complaining about the superficiality. The famous complaining about the lack of privacy. The working class complaining about being overworked. The majority in each group complain about their neighbors as a whole, which makes them all hypocrites. (Considering my own conflict) Dentists try to justify making alot of money by making up reasons why they love their job. Designers justify why they don't make any money by saying they love their job. In the end, a perfect state of a niche within a society is non-existent. What matters in the end is individual outlook.

If someone was truly a free thinking individual, they would become career criminals.

I'd like to know if there are any studies comparing the confidence of a resident of a third world country with scarce resources and constant war with that of a country like the US with its overabundance of resources and peace (don't kid me, there is a relative overabundance). I'd bet that the third world country's residents are more confident, because us Americans have too much time on hour hands. Not only so, we are bombarded with information. Where can one find peace? Is peace an unobtainable goal? No peace in peace, no peace in war. Peace needs war. War needs peace. It's safe to say we'll all have peace someday.

Ted's birthday

So it's my cousin's birthday, and he is coming down to Rockville to celebrate. Since my wallet is only full of moths, and moths make bad gifts, I decided to make him a card.